Writing An Effective Business Introduction

Ever sit down to write a concise and meaningful introduction but end up with an incomprehensible collection of thesaurus-inspired gobbledygook?

You're not alone!

Here's some first aid for your crippled exposition.

The secret is twofold:

1) Focus on the reader and 2) Keep it simple.

Focusing on the reader is a type of seduction. Make them an intriguing offer that you've presented as alluringly as possible. Entice them by focusing on their needs. Make it clear that you're doing this for them and they can take you up on your offer at their convenience.

Keep it simple by eliminating every unnecessary word and by picking words that exactly portray your message. Use your thesaurus for precision, not verbosity.

Consider this introduction for Heritage Cards:

"Heritage Cards are unique and endearing greeting cards that can be used to improve your networking results."

Because the above example simply describes the business, it doesn't elicit a response from the reader.

An improvement would be this:

"Improve your networking results dramatically by sending unique and endearing greeting cards from Heritage Cards to all your business contacts and clients."

Why is this improved?

1. The business is no longer the subject of the introduction...the reader is the subject. The reader is always going to be more interested in himself than the business.

2. The rewrite eliminates the passive tense.

3. The reader has instructions to use the product. Your business introduction will sparkle and get results when you answer the question on top of every reader's mind:

"What's in it for me?"

PS - Your comments and suggestions are always welcome. We do listen! Please contact your local Heritage Cards representative or call us toll free at

1-888-355-6333.

You may also email us at sales@HeritageGreetingCards.com

or fax toll free to 1-877-842-2222.